


Imagination over Intelligence

by DanieXJ



Category: ER
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-18
Updated: 2008-12-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 10:42:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanieXJ/pseuds/DanieXJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had a thought (maybe someone out in the K/K fanfic world has even already done it, it's been a long 10+ years), what if the Kim/Kerry storyline had gotten stretched out, instead of stuffed into wayy too few episodes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, and, the Episode titles after some of the chapter numbers generally means that those scenes take place in the context (though they're not always exactly like they were) in the episode, though I think I've made some textual context clues too.
> 
> I totally had forgotten about this story practically since I wrote it. (Maybe it was better that way, who knows). Anyway... here it is, just so that I know where --all-- my fit to publish online stories are. (And that they're all in one place).

**Rock, Paper, Scissors**

Kerry walked into Doc Magoos. She glanced to her left, then the right. Kim sat in a booth on the right. Two booths in. Something was playing on the jukebox, but Kerry didn't hear it, her heart was echoing so loudly in her ears. She made her way over to Kim's booth. "Hey."

She slid into the booth and Kim started to gather up her things, "Oh, I was just about to leave if you want the table."

"No, no." Kim had looked so relaxed, and then suddenly she wasn't relaxed at all. It did not bode well. "Actually I called your office, and they said you might be here. I was hoping we could talk." 

Kerry unhooked her crutch from her arm and settled it near her. To her, that meant she wasn't playing around, but Kim had never really  
seemed to notice the crutch, before Kerry'd thought that a good thing, but...

Kim leaned forward a bit, her pen between her hands, "I don't know Kerry, we've already talked a lot today."

Kerry looked down at the table. She liked who she was, after years of uncertainty she'd figured out that she was who she was and screw the world. Except for every once in awhile, when she did something stupid like ream out a friend. She looked back up at Kim. "Look, I know it's been tense between us, but listen, I really don't mean it to be."

Kim put on her best Psychiatrist face, "I'm sure it'll pass."

Kerry shook her head, "Kim, I want you to know that I respect you as a colleague."

Kim bristled inside a little and turned the screws on Kerry a bit. Tilting her head to one side, "Today notwithstanding?"

"I miss you."

The look on Kim's face said more clearly than words ever could. 'Yeah, sure, and you have a bridge to sell me'. Her Psychiatrist mask slammed back into place, a slight smile with no happiness in it graced her lips, "Well, that'll pass too. In a few weeks we'll just be friendly  
co-workers again."

Kerry's head hadn't moved since she'd sat down. She was stuck, staring at Kim, trying to put into words what was in her heart. "You know I've been thinking, and I'm not sure that's what I want."

Kim sat there and absorbed that sentiment for a second before she started to leave. "You have a good night, okay."

She stood from the table and heard Kerry say her name, say please. She went to the coat tree and got her coat, picked up her things. Either Kerry would stop her, or she wouldn't. Kim had had interactions like hers and Kerry's before. Before she had chased them. This time, it was up to Kerry.

Kerry watched as Kim went to the door. She switched her gaze to the table as she heard the bell tinkle. Kim was gone. Kerry sat alone in  
Doc Magoos, Kim's words ringing in her ears. 'Friendly co-workers'.

She heard a voice, once, twice, and finally someone put a hand on her shoulder. "Chief... do I have to call the EMTs in here. It was the  
fries, right?"

Kerry blinked and looked up to find Dave sitting across from here. She sighed. "What do you need?"

Dave shook his head. "Nothing, for once, nothing at all. But you looked pale and sorta out of it. I mean, you're a pain in the ass  
Chief, but they could find so much worse."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Thank you for the vote of confidence Doctor Malucci. I'm fine, but I would like to be alone."

Dave stood, "'Course, have a good... meal."

He left and after a moment one of the waitresses came over. "Doctor Weaver." The red head looked up, "Are you okay?"

Kerry took a breath in, "Right. I should probably give up the table if I'm not using it."

The woman smiled, "You don't have to. We're having a special today you know?"

"Oh?"

The woman's smile turned to a smirk, "Sure, the burgers won't be burned."

This coaxed a chuckle from Kerry. "Not burned, okay, you convinced me Lisa, but I think I'll eat at the bar." Kerry paused, "Thank you."

"We aim to please..." She paused, "...and make you spend money." Kerry  
laughed.

oOOOOo

"Did you and the blonde bombshell break up?"

Kerry's head snapped up, "What, no... we had... we work together and we had a disagreement. It'll... we'll figure it out."

Lisa shook her head. "You Doctors over there take everything so seriously. Need to lighten up, relax a bit."

Doc Magoos was nearly empty except for Kerry and a surgical nurse who wasn't Shirley at the other end of the counter. "I know... are you  
hiring here?"

Lisa chuckled, "I think you may be over qualified."

"Probably... well, I should let you..." Kerry trailed off.

"You were going to say close up... alas, I've got two more hours here in this insanely fun place. Stay relaxed Doctor Weaver."

Kerry stood and threaded her arm through her crutch. "I'll try."

"And don't be too pissed at the gorgeous blonde one. She was probably right anyway."

Kerry shook her head as she walked out of Doc Magoos. It was so late, so late that it was almost early. She was on at nine tomorrow... which was actually today already.

Today was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Surrender**

Kim stared at her bagel, her topping, her knife. Her hair hung in wet ringlets making wet tracks down the back of her bright pink shirt. The  
coffee maker gurbled to a halt, and without looking she reached behind her back and flipped the switch off. She put her breakfast down and stared at it. She just wasn't hungry, which never happened. Even when she was sick with the worst case of the flu, or throwing back up what she ate and hour after she ate it, she was still hungry.

She turned and poured her coffee into a travel mug, lifting the mug to her nose, taking in the comforting scent. Twenty degrees. She'd woken up so early she'd had time to take a twenty minute shower, used up all the hot water in her forty gallon water heater. And still, if she left now, she'd be early to work.

She took a sip of the black coffee. Maybe she'd go into work early. She couldn't remember when Kerry was supposed to be on. The Chief of the ER worked such a weird schedule it was hard to keep track. Maybe if she went in early she'd manage to avoid the red head, at least  
until the first psych consult in the ER. She could have passed on the duty to someone else, but, she loved working in the ER.

She, they could do it. They'd just be colleagues again, maybe one day, maybe they'd even be acquaintances.

She closed the top of her travel mug and sniffed the air. Sour milk. She brought her left hand up to her face and winced, she needed to  
talk to her dry cleaners. "Maybe the blue shirt..."

oOOOOo

Kerry jerked awake as the El made a fast stop. She took one deep breath, and then another. She closed her eyes and she groaned. She'd gotten some sleep, but definitely not enough. Not to mention her leg ached like a bitch, and her car hadn't started at all.

"Hey Chief."

Kerry took a cleansing breath in and held it for a beat. "I thought you rode your bike Doctor Malucci."

Dave shrugged, "You look a little flushed."

Kerry turned and stared at Dave. "Silence is golden David."

He put his hands up defensively, "I can take a hint." The cars slid into the stop nearest to County and Dave sprang up, beating a path to  
the door. Kerry bit off a groan and was the last one off the car. On the platform she stopped, letting the crush of people flow around her.  
Finally she climbed down the steps and went towards the ER's ambulance bay doors.

As she got to the door she slammed into a solid object. She caught her balance and looked up into the beautiful blue eyes for a half a second too long before she took a step back. "I'm sorry Kim."

Kim shook her head and gestured that Kerry should go first. "Not a problem Ker-ry." Kim followed Kerry into the ER, idly wondering  
whether Kerry would say something about her slip up, almost calling her Ker. The red headed doctor didn't, and the blonde psychiatrist  
peeled off towards the elevators without another word.

As Kerry passed by the admit desk Dave held up a chart. "Hard at work Chief..."

Kerry shook her head, though as the door to the Doctor's lounge closed a slight smile came to her face.

When she came back out of the lounge, only Randi was at the desk. "Did someone plant a tracking device on me Randi?"

Randi spoke with a straight face, "They're all just working hard." Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Or hardly working."

Kerry caught sight of Mark. He wore his usual green scrubs, with the addition of a blue untied surgical cap to cover his still bare head.  
"Hey Mark..."

They met at the desk. Mark moving to the board. "Morning Kerry."

"How's it goin'?"

Mark bent to throw away his gloves, "Uh, well, a snow blower blew a rock into a guy's larynx, had to trach him."

Kerry moved to join Mark by the board, "No, I mean with you. You know, first day back."

"So far so good."

"Good." Kerry put away a chart.

"I'll let you know at the end of my four hours."

Kerry glanced up at the board and then moved for a closer look. "Gettin' a little backed up?"

"Three patients waiting for a surgical consult."

"Who's on the service?"

Mark picked up a chart from the rack, "Peter. But, uh, she's stuck in a press conference."

Kerry went back to the charts, "Who?"

"Peter, she's been in for an hour."

Kerry glanced over her shoulder, "Who's she?"

"What?"

Kerry looked straight on at Mark, confused as hell. "Wait, I mean, who's giving the press conference?"

"Well, I don't know who it's for," Mark started to walk away, "but I heard Peter's in it."

Kerry picked up her cardboard coffee cup as Luka called her from the other side of the ER. She was tired, maybe it was her, but that  
conversation hadn't made any sense at all. "Kerry..."

"Yep."

oOOOOo

Kim saw a shock of red hair. They hadn't seen each other since they bumped in the doorway on the way in. She stopped and moved to one side, mostly hidden by the wall. Elizabeth and Kerry were not having a happy conversation. Kim frowned as she listened. Kerry didn't look well, there were circles under her eyes as if she hadn't gotten any sleep, Kim had assumed that she'd simply gone home after their little talk at Doc Magoos.

"Have you noticed that he's mixing his pronouns?"

Elizabeth stepped into the elevator, holding the door open. "Mixing, how?"

"Well, like saying she when he means he."

"Uh." She shook her head, "Nothing that I've noticed. Has he said anything to you about it?"

Kerry tilted her head to one side, "I don't think he realizes."

Kerry could practically see all the thoughts chasing each other through Elizabeth's brain. "Well, maybe you misheard." She backed into  
the elevator a bit, trying to end the conversation.

Kerry thought for a blink of an eye before responding. She could follow Elizabeth into the elevator, push the issue, or she could let  
it go for the moment. "Yeah." It was the easy way out. The path of least resistance, but she was sick of tension.

Elizabeth let the door close and Kerry turned around. She somehow managed to stop her groan from being audible, but only barely. "Kim."

Kim nodded as she stood in front of the shorter woman. "Kerry."

They both were quiet for a moment before Kerry spoke, "So, he's not psychotic?"

Kim shook her head, "Ah, no, sociopath maybe, but no, I can't hold him. We'll leave it up to the police."

Kerry nodded shortly again, "Thanks."

Kim tilted her head to one side, the hint of a smile came to her lips unbidden, "Anytime."

Kerry watched her walk down the hallway, and nearly jumped when Carter spoke, "Doctor Weaver. You wanted to see me before my shift?"

She took a deep breath, thrust out of her own insane little world into the real one once again. "Right."

oOOOOo

The Doctor's lounge on the psych floor rang with laughter as Kim entered. She was mentally exhausted. She'd gotten called down twice  
more to the ER. Though she hadn't bumped into Kerry again, her nerves were frayed. She'd never had that reaction to a woman before. Hell, Kate had hated her for most of Junior year after they'd broken up and it hadn't phased the blonde.

"It must have been Randi, right. She managed to get Doctor Weaver the chart?"

"No, no... just luck of the draw. And Chuny said that she didn't even have a surprised blink when she inspected it."

"Oh, really?" Eyebrows were raised all around the room.

They turned to Kim, who was pointedly trying to avoid the conversation since she was pretty sure that she knew which hard situation they were referring to, and who it involved. She'd already heard the ER staff snickering about the guy on coke with the wood that wouldn't go down. "Kim. You're down there a lot. Is Doctor Weaver gay?"

Kim didn't even blink or pause before she responded. "She was married actually. No, she's straight."

One of the nurses sighed, "That's too bad. I bet she's... intense at all the right times... if ya know what I mean."

Kim headed for the door as the other people in the room laughed. "See you tomorrow."

A chorus of 'bye Kim's followed her out the door.

oOOOOo

Kerry slid down the wall by her door. She was cold, tired. She felt her face getting wet as well. She leaned her head back against the  
yellow bricks and closed her eyes. First Mark, then Elizabeth, Carter, Kim, Benton, topped off by her total ineptitude in causing so many  
people to get hurt because she always had to do what was set forth in the rules. She took a few long breaths before she slowly stood and  
opened her door. She winced as a voice spoke from behind her.

"Why'd you pull me off the woman?"

Kerry held the door open. "I can't do this now David. I..."

Dave crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not leaving your doorstep until you answer my damn question."

Kerry was silent for a half a minute before she shook her head and gestured. "Inside Doctor Malucci, it's cold out."

He somehow managed to wait until Kerry had her coat off before he spoke again. "I'm good, not perfect, I miss stuff, I have more to  
learn, I get that. You've hammered that into my head. But... why did you pull me off the dying woman today?"

Kerry shook her head slowly as she stared at Dave. "It... it wasn't you David."

"I'm not an idiot. I may act that way."

Kerry sighed, "Look Doctor Malucci. I may be a bitch. I may be an ice queen, but I'm also the Chief of the ER, it's my ER. I don't screw  
with people there. You're right, you have a lot to learn, that's why you're a resident, and not a god. It was not because of your skill.  
You'll have to take my word for that, but it's true."

Dave stared right back at Kerry. It was a battle of wills, and somewhere in him Dave knew he would lose, but that didn't stop him.  
That's what was intriguing about the resident to Kerry. There was something deeper about him that no one ever got near.

She turned and nearly jumped when Dave's hand came down on her shoulder. Her crutch clattered to the ground and she brought her arms up to clutch at Dave's arms. "David..."

He didn't answer, but leaned down and captured her lips with his own. She could feel him pause a moment, to see if she would respond or say no. She kissed him back and he pressed his body to hers, holding her up as if she weighed less than a feather. He lifted her up without letting her lips go and they moved through the house. His coat wound up in the kitchen. Her sweater just outside her bedroom door.

Neither was cold for long.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Next Morning**

Kim stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom. Her quiet contemplation was rudely interrupted by the bed bouncing. A coffee cup was put in front of her face. "How's the hangover comin' babe?"

Kim groaned and pushed herself up into a sitting position and squinted at a fully dressed Kate. "You mean, for this raging headache I didn't even..."

"Nope, no women conquests last night. Just your best friend forever coming over with coffee to make sure that you didn't throw up during the night and choke to death."

Kim groaned again, "Do you have to be, quite, so loud?" Kate smirked, "Other than... the drinking, did I do anything..."

"Untoward last night? Well, there was this firefighter, whew. So... who is she?"

Kim took a long drink of the black brew. "I don't remember much of anything about last night."

Kate shook her head, "No... the hot woman's name was Sandy. I even got her number for you."

"For me huh?"

Kate gave Kim's shoulder a whack, "I meant, who's the woman you're in love with Kim. 'Cause the fact that I'm here and not a naked and beaming Sandy Lopez means you've got it bad friend... So, what's her name?"

Kim put a hand to her forehead, "And, what if it's a guy?"

The mattress shook so hard with laughter that Kim nearly spilled the coffee. "Sure..." Kate stood. "I'll let you get changed."

Kim groaned, "You're gonna make me do something... productive on my day off aren't you?"

Kate laughed as the bedroom door closed behind her.

Kim sat and stared around the room. Kate was a good friend. They had sucked in a relationship, though Kim had always wondered if that had  
been because they had been in college.

But, as friends, they rocked, and neither woman wanted to risk that. She rolled out of bed and wondered if maybe one day she and Kerry could be friends like she and Kate. She shook her head and rolled her neck, "Probably not... The kiss sealed that."

oOOOOo

Dave blinked, he was not in his apartment, he didn't have a hangover, and he was definitely not lying on the sheets of any of his buddies. He sniffed the air, "Breakfast?"

oOOOOo

"So, what's her name?"

Kim sipped at her second cup of coffee. "Doctor Kerry Weaver, Chief of County's ER."

"Whoo..." Kate smirked, "You stepped in it Kimmy..."

"She's straight."

Kate groaned, "Kim. It's smelly and sticky. Why do you do this to yourself Kim?"

Kim put down her mug, "I don't do anything. She's smart, funny, gorgeous. She's not afraid of being... unpopular, and she's is an amazing doctor. She cares for her patients so much, but doesn't go overboard. She's... argh..."

Kate put an arm around Kim's shoulders. "Kim. How straight is she?"

"She was married."

Kate nodded slowly, "But now... she's divorced right?"

Kim nodded and picked back up her mug, but put it down again instead of taking a drink. "She said she missed me."

Kim jerked forward as Kate hit her on the back of the head. "What?"

"Have you not gone out with every straight and bi-curious woman in the Chicago area Kim, I miss you means, 'shag me baby and turn me gay if you can'."

"Katherine Porter-Senes." Kate shook her head and went back across the kitchen. "I deserve someone who knows who they are. I want someone who knows who they are. I want someone who doesn't have an ex-boyfriend to cheat on me. Someone who's... who's..."

"An advanced, or at least intermediate lesbian, not a beginner lesbian."

Kim nodded and Kate gave her a quick hug again. "You'll find her.. or maybe, she'll find you."

oOOOOo

Dave frowned as he entered Kerry Weaver's kitchen. Kerry moved around it without the aid of her crutch. "Uh..."

Kerry turned and met Dave's sleepy gaze straight on. "Here's how it is. This will never happen again. It was a moment of, it was a moment. It will not gain you anything, or have you penalized in any way, and if you tell anyone..."

Dave covered a yawn, "No one would believe me."

Kerry nodded and went back to her preparations, "Good, then we're clear?"

A smirk came to Dave's face, "I still get breakfast?"

Kerry rolled her eyes and went to the stove, "What are you, five? Yes, you get breakfast. You need to grow up Doctor Malucci."

Dave's smirk turned into a genuine smile. They went silent until Kerry put out the food and Dave had ingested half of it. "Doctor Weaver, are you really okay?"

"Another rule, this doesn't make us closer Doctor Malucci."

Dave held free hand up, "Hey, I get it. I'm young remember, carefree as a bird. Hell, I got a kid doin' what we did..."

"Oh?"

Dave shrugged and stalled by eating a bit more. Finally he caved, as if he had to get it off his chest. "Two years old. I either have very good luck, or very bad luck depending on your point of view."

"Mmm..." Kerry neither pushed the conversation forward or stopped it. She simply ate. Oh, she was curious about Dave's child, but there was no way in hell that she'd let Dave know that.

He kept talking. "Did all the right stuff..." Dave's cheeks colored a bit. "Preventative I mean, still, nine months later... like magic, little Dylan was born. Dylan David." Kerry nodded. Dave was silent for a couple of minutes, "I'm sorry..."

She glanced up, surprised, "What?"

He pushed away from the island, food still on his plate and disappeared from the kitchen. Kerry simply kept eating. She was off. She briefly considered moving, but decided that Dave would just freak out more. She wanted less drama, not more. Of course, she probably should have thought about that before sleeping with one of her junior residents.

Her cell phone rang, startling her out of her reverie. She glanced at the Caller ID and a smile came to her face. She heard her front door close as she answered. "LiLi, how are you?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Thy Will Be Done**

"You did not have to come all the way here."

"Of course I did Red, otherwise, what are friends for. Now, tell me about your day today. Tell me of your experiences in a... County ER."

Kerry shook her head as she ate her pie in Doc Magoos. "You make us sound like... the missing link." Emily Feare tilted her head to one side, and Kerry gave in, "Fine, fine, we killed a clown."

Emily started chuckling and it progressed into a full fledged belly laugh. Kerry managed to get to her water before it was spilled all over the table. Emily put a hand up, then covered her eyes with it. She was a short woman, even shorter than Kerry by a bit. She had dark gray hair with spots of darker black interspersed. She had a sharp featured face, except when she smiled, or practically collapsed into her food laughing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She had a light accent, Kerry guessed Scottish, but Emily had grown up all over the world, and it could be heard in her voice. She managed to get herself under enough control to clear her throat a couple of times and speak again, "I'll behave."

Kerry rolled her eyes, "Uh huh... I heard that the day before you went running through the Quad buck naked."

Emily rolled her eyes, "I was twenty. So, what about this hot Doctor?"

Kerry rolled her eyes, "Doctor Malucci. Want his number?"

Kerry jumped out of her seat a bit as Emily kicked the red head's shin. "I do not. So..." The smile that had practically been etched on her face since she'd gotten to Chicago left it. "So..."

"Not here..." Kerry shook her head, "Please..."

Emily narrowed her eyes at Kerry, but gave into her request. "And the... firmly tumor headed guy?"

Kerry sighed, "He's always thought he was in charge anyway, that I... stole his job of Chief of the ER. That he deserved it more than I did." Kerry shrugged. "I'm used to it. I did what I had to do for my ER," Kerry winced, "I doubt if most of the ER will see it that way. They'll think that I... ratted out a colleague, or that I'm not cutting him any slack at all. Doesn't matter that none of those things are true, I'm used to it."

Emily watched Kerry while they finished their pie and Kerry paid. They collected their coats and opened the door and were stopped dead in their tracks. In front of them stood Kim.

Kerry nodded a greeting, "Kim."

Kim took a step to the side to let them both by, "Kerry."

Kerry and Emily moved by Kim. Emily started to speak, but Kerry pulled her along before a syllable could escape. They were halfway to the El station when Emily pried her arm loose. "That's her, she's gorgeous." Emily looked Kerry up and down with a smirk. "Ya sure you didn't imagine this kiss?"

"Ha. Do you see me laughing at your joke Em. Ha..."

oOOOOo

Kim sat down at the bar and let her breath out slowly. It had been a long week, though after that first day she hadn't seen Kerry quite as much. It had been a relatively sane week for the ER. After a moment she glanced around the place. A voice came from behind her back. "Looking for me?"

Kim turned and smiled at the short dark skinned, dark haired woman. "Sandy, yes, hello."

Sandy held a hand out and Kim shook it. A smile graced her features, "You don't really remember me, do you?"

"Night's a little, fuzzy, yes..."

Sandy slid into the stool next to the tall blonde one. "I've had some nights like that. A woman?"

Kim shrugged, "What can I say, sometimes I'm a walking cliché. I'd also like to apologize for whatever horribly lame moves I used on you last week as well."

Sandy laughed, "Nah, you were quite a... chivalrous lady, just seemed a bit sad." Sandy paused, "Kate your girlfriend?"

Kim nearly choked, "Oh, god no. No, we're just friends." She turned on the stool so that she faced Sandy. "You should just ask."

"Good, are you seeing anyone?"

Kim shook her head, "Nope. You?"

"No, so are you off?"

Kim glanced up and at Lisa. "I am... and I love Doc Magoos, but..."

"Not the best place for footsies?"

Kim smiled again, "Somethin' like that."

oOOOOo

"Are you?"

"No... I... no. I don't know."

Emily was silent, waiting to see if Kerry would speak again. Kerry didn't, so Emily did. "I was 17, 16. The middle of puberty. I thought of it like a battle in some sexuality war. Back then, one moment I was sure that I'd get married, the next I was sure that I would never. There was this upper classman, she was third in her class, wore glasses and peasant skirts. Lordy... No one explained it to me, this battle, and then, one day, sophomore year of college I met Dena. Yeah..." Emily sat back in her chair. "It all fell into place like a demented jenga game. I was gay."

Kerry sat across her living room. She looked as if she'd just been struck by lightning. She didn't even blink, and her mouth was open in a slight 'oh' shape. She stared at her friend of 18 years. Finally she managed to find her voice, "You're gay? How did I not... we went to four years of college... how. You're gay?"

Emily sat and laughed and laughed and laughed again. After a little while she calmed down and coughed a couple of times. "Sorry Kerry, it's just quite a thing. You really didn't know?" Kerry mutely shook her head, "I never spoke of a husband, boyfriend."

"Or girlfriend..." Kerry didn't let Emily's gaze go.

Emily nodded and stood. She walked over and sat down next to Kerry on the sofa. She took the red head's hand in her own. "That's true, and it's for a very stupid reason." Emily paused, "I was scared out of my mind because I, sort of..."

Kerry shook her head and, leaned it back and closed her eyes. Emily was buoyed by the fact that she didn't pull her hand away. "This has been an... interesting month. I take it that you're saying that you... fancied... me a bit?"

Emily pulled her hands away, "Once upon a time, our four years of college, then from a distance, basically until I..." She trailed off and waited for a minute, "You're not going to ask?"

Kerry frowned at Emily for a second before understanding dawned on her face, "What's her name?"

"Toni."

Kerry tilted her head to one side, "She's in Chicago." Emily nodded with a smile. "May... I'd like to meet her."

Emily narrowed her eyes with faux seriousness. "To make sure she doesn't have a tail?"

Kerry pulled Emily closer, "To make sure she's worth of you LiLi..."

Emily groaned, "What will it take for you not to use that nick in front of her?" Kerry chuckled evil-y and they lapsed into silence, simply sitting there. "You still have no idea what to do or what to feel..."

Kerry nodded, "It's, it's not just that she's, a she. I've never felt this, not even for, not for anyone."

Emily gave Kerry a squeeze, "It'll be... whatever happens will be meant to happen. It will be right."


	5. Chapter 5

**A Walk in the Woods**

Kim flipped off her hair dryer and stared into the mirror. "I'm past it. I can be a friend. I'm talking to a mirror. Psychiatrist, commit thyself."

She shook her head and walked back into her bedroom, shedding her pink robe as she went. Sandy had left early, had a shift, or maybe just didn't want to do the whole uncomfortable morning routine. Kim found it mildly interesting. She'd never gone out with a cop or firefighter before, it was refreshing to realize that someone else understood the concept of unfortunate shifts or being on call.

Her next thought crept into her consciousness like a tickle up the back of her neck at "The Hunger". She wondered if Kerry understood the life of random shifts and being on call. She was a doctor, had done med school, intern year, residency, but she was also the Chief of the ER.

She shook her head as she buttoned a blue shirt. It was a different one from weeks ago, from the day after the Doc Magoos debacle. Maybe there was something in her wearing so many blue shirts. "Nah."

oOOOOo

Kerry was wrung out. She just sooo loved administrative meetings, and now, as she stepped off the elevator, there was Kim and a woman, and she didn't want to feel jealous. Damnit, she shouldn't care that they were laughing. She wasn't gay. Kim was moving on, why couldn't she.

"Another stewardess." Kim looked up as the blonde woman with her smiled. "Hey. Kerry." Kim was going to be the best damn friend she could be, whether it ripped her heart to shreds or not. "Kerry, this is Christy, Christy, Kerry Weaver. She pretty much runs this hospital."

"Hi." That one word spoken by Christy held everything that Kerry needed to know. Kim had talked to Christy, and now the perky, medium height, straight haired blonde was judging her.

"Hello." Kerry tried not to look uncomfortable and failed miserably.

Kim pushed on, seemingly oblivious to either woman, "Christy and I were having coffee."

"...and I insisted that she bring me down here."

Kerry wanted to escape. The two blondes were finishing each others sentences.

David saved the day, "Uh, Chief, can I get you to sign off on this LOL, head CT's clear."

The elevator arrived with a ding and it was like a ring from heaven as Christy and Kim entered it. Of course David had to ruin his heroic timing, "That uh, Legaspi's girlfriend, I heard she's gay."

Kerry counted in her head, trying to time the perfectly correct moment to look up. Too fast and she'd look guilty answering, too slow, and the same thing. "I don't know."

She handed David back his chart. He gave Kerry a pat on the shoulder, "What I wouldn't pay to drop in on that little party, huh?"

He left and the next battle in her war of the day wasn't far behind. "You turned me in?"

oOOOOo

"He's making remarkable progress and is no danger to anyone except perhaps easily threatened minor demi-gods."

Kim stood perfectly still, debating whether to intervene or clear the area. "He may be endangering patients. I'm not unsympathetic to his circumstance, but I have larger responsibilities."

Kim snuck around the corner, making sure to keep quiet. Elizabeth wasn't though, and what she said next was horrendous. "It's despicable. You should be ashamed of yourself." She got in Kerry's face. "I hope you end up with a possibly fatal illness one day Kerry so I can do absolutely nothing to help you."

She stormed off.

Kim spoke from behind Kerry and partially around the corner. "Are you okay?"

Kerry turned, bringing a hand through her hair, her brain trying to switch gears from getting yelled at by Elizabeth to dealing with Kim, her almost, whatever they were almost. "No. No... but, I'm the Queen bitch. It's what's expected. Everyone else gets to be fun, happy, cool. I get to be the parent. 'Cept with parents, at least the kids love them." Kerry fell silent, but after only a second or two shook her head, "I'm sorry. What can I do for you Kim?"

Kim seemed to want to say more, but instead handed Kerry a chart. "Mister Tobias. I can't admit him."

Kerry pinched the bridge of her nose, "That's fine. Sorry to have bothered you."

"Kerry..."

Kerry knocked her knuckles against the chart, "Thank you."

Kim paused, and then stepped backwards, leaving Kerry alone as she could be in her bustling ER.

oOOOOo

Randi watched Kerry walk out of the ER and shook her head. "Something is wrong with that woman."

Kim glanced over at Randi, "Hmmm?"

"You're her friend Doctor Legaspi, she's seriously bumming."

"Bumming?"

Randi shook her head and poked Kim in the chest. "You think that I'm just an idiot clerk, fine, but Kerry Weaver is not okay. I've, we've, been working here together for six years. She's not right in either the head or heart."

Kim gave her full attention to Randi, her clipboards practically glued to her chest. "What do you think is wrong?"

Randi made a face, "I don't know. I just... maybe kids or something, since she's getting older. A few years ago she was trying to find her birth parents. I'm not a Psychologist, but, something's wrong. That I can tell. You have to do something."

Kim performed a perfect psychiatrist pause, "Why me?"

"Hey, if Jeanie was around, I'd tell her, but she's not. I think. Anyway, I'm not tellin' any of the busy bodies around here, and you and she seem to be okay. You don't treat her like dirt. Please Doctor Legaspi."

Kim nodded slowly. "Of course. Yes, yeah, I'll see if I can figure out what's wrong."

Randi took a deep breath in, "Thank you. Uh... didn't you say you had to go."

"Ooh, damn, dinner with Kate and Christy. Thanks."

Randi tipped an invisible hat, "All part of the service." The clerk watched Kim hoof it out of the ER and shook her head. "Hell woman, you're supposed to be a professional. So easy..."

Abby popped up by Randi's side. "What was so easy?"

"Getting Kim and Kerry back together."

Abby nodded, "Good. So, need any help?"

Randi smirked, "Nah, I'm good."

oOOOOo

"No... she wished... on you... my word."

Kerry took a sip of wine and shrugged. She sat at a table with Toni and Emily. Toni was a striking woman. She had long, bright almost blindingly red hair that hung to just past her shoulders. She was about five seven, though taller in heels. And her breasts. When Kerry had met her the week before, the doctor's eyes had lingered on Toni's assets for just a little too long and it had sent Emily into another bout of uncontrollable laughing.

Toni had just ignored Emily's hysterics, shook her head, shook Kerry's hand, and in the most proper English accent Kerry had ever heard spoke, "Now I see why she fancies me." Kerry had turned even brighter red than Toni's hair.

Toni was a Detective Inspector with the Metropolitan Police Service and had quite a lot of stories. She and Kerry seemed to get on very well and for the first time since they'd gotten to Chicago the week before, Emily seemed to relax and just be present in the moment.

It was their last night and since Kerry had gotten off at six she'd offered to take them to dinner.

They'd been talking about Elizabeth's little scene. Both women had been aghast.

Emily spoke, "Why do you let them do that to you?"

"Let them?" Kerry shook her head. "I don't let them Em. It's a... complicated situation. Mark had been there already, I came in and rocked the boat, and..."

Emily interrupted her friend, "You're not the most likable bitch in the world."

Kerry pushed at Emily's shoulder and Emily pushed back. Toni just shook her head.

By the window laughter echoed through the entire restaurant. All three women looked over and Kerry sighed. Emily pulled her chair closer to Kerry. "What me to give ya a big smooch, make her jealous?"

"And someone else jealous perhaps... LiLi..."

"You promised."

Kerry smirked, "What are we, thirteen? And thank you, but it's okay. I have no..." Their food arrived. "Ah, here we go."

"Now, don't forget, you promised to watch the videos we made. It's only two seasons, but when the third one comes out, whew..."

Kerry dove into her dinner, though she paused to answer Toni. "Because I have oh so much time just waiting to be filled."

Emily snapped her fingers, "A mental health day."

"I..."

"I'll give you a note Kerry."

Kerry gave Emily another push. "Just for that, you don't get to try this amazingly great chicken."

Emily gave a faux sigh. Toni changed the subject. "So, what in blazes is happening to your political system Kerry. The Supreme Court deciding an election..."

oOOOOo

"They look gay."

Kim hurfed, "They're not."

Kate watched Kim and Christy in silence. She'd never understood why Kim had dated Christy in college. It had been all three of their senior year's, and Kate was even more puzzled when Kim had stayed friends with Christy.

"I don't know what you see in her. Short, sorta squirrelly, and what's with her voice?"

Kim glanced back to Kerry's table where all three women were laughing. "We're done talking about Kerry. How about you two, any prospects?"

Kate hurfed, "Well, I had the amazing beautiful Sandy Lopez's number, the queen bee here..." Kate narrowed her eyes good naturedly at Kim. "Waved her gorgeous self and poof... nada..."

Kim colored a bit and shrugged, "What can I say... I'm irresistible."

Both Kate and Christy rolled their eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

** The Crossing **

Sandy jerked awake, slightly disoriented. "Wha... who?"

Kim groped around on her nightstand until her hand hit the phone. She answered it. "Legaspi." She was silent as she listened to the person on the other end. Finally she nodded and spoke, "I'll be right in. Yes, yep."

She hung up and rolled onto her back, "Sorry 'bout that."

Sandy rolled her eyes, "Firefighter, remember. A phone is nothing. I'll get out of your way... I'm almost on anyway. Something happen?"

Kim paused, sitting on the edge of the bed, the covers twisted around her. "Train derailment."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

oOOOOo

"Kerry."

Kerry heard her name and met Kim at the end of the hall. Perhaps Kim was right in Doc Magoos. When it was work, they were like a perfect high dive team. Finishing each others sentences, understanding, not just what the other one said, but what they meant. "You have a suicidal ideation?"

They started down the hall, Kim's hand on Kerry's arm. "Young girl in trauma two."

"Does she have a plan?"

"Parked her car in front of a train."

"Oh, I suppose that qualifies."

"Also in a major depression."

They stopped and faced each other in front of the trauma room. "Flat affect."

"No real remorse."

"About the suicide attempt?" For the first time the two women actually looked at each other. Kim looked tired and Kerry seemed weary.

"The train wreck."

Kim took it all in, "Oh my..." Kim paused and they both stood there. The ER had calmed down a bit, they were both doing their jobs and doing them well. "I..." Kim trailed off with a half smile and a shake of her head. "I'll talk to her now."

"Good."

Kim pushed through the doors to the room. "Hi Shannon, I'm Doctor Legaspi."


	7. Chapter 7

**Witch Hunt**

"No, they're saying she propositioned the girl."

"No gossiping."

Both nurses looked over at Kerry and left the admit desk. "What are they talking about Randi?"

"Kim, Doctor Legaspi. She's being accused of sexual harassment by the suicide girl."

Kerry's jaw worked, "Damn."

"Yeah. Would she do that?"

Kerry took a breath in and slowly let it out. "We were all so... I think they called her in, and that young woman was so distraught."

Randi looked one way, then the other and leaned her head down so that it was closer to Kerry's. "I heard that the reason everyone's so pissed is 'cause she told the girl that she was gay."

Kerry's eyes raised and met Randi's. "I hope you're wrong..."

Randi shook her head, "I'm not."

Kerry stood still for a long minute or two, the chaos of the ER sweeping around her. She finally nodded, "Okay, it'll be okay." 

"You can't let her go Kerry." Randi looked down, "She's really good. Whatever they say she did, she didn't Doctor Weaver."

Kerry put a hand on Randi's shoulder, "I'll figure something out."

oOOOOo

"Is bloody Mary settled in?"

"Upstairs."

Kim paused, and Kerry took the opportunity to pull Kim into the bathroom. "What happened?"

Kim blinked, "It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters. Do you know the rumors that are swirling?"

"I've heard them, sure."

"You don't care?"

Kim took a step towards Kerry, towered over her, "I had police detectives come to my house. Interrogate me. Of course I care. But why do you?" Kim took a step back, belatedly realizing what she was doing.

"I don't. But, you're the best Psychiatrist this ER has seen. I won't let that go."

"You haven't asked why I would tell a patient that I'm gay."

Kerry took a step back and bumped into the sink, "I haven't asked because either you didn't. Or if you did it was quite possibly the stupidest and most irresponsible thing you've ever done." Kerry turned and left the bathroom.

Kim stared at Kerry's back and then the door. "Lord."

oOOOOo

Malik entered the exam room, "Hey, Doctor Weaver. This is Detective Graham."

"Detective, what can County do for you?" Kerry had a sinking feeling she knew.

"I'd like to speak with you."

"Why would you want to talk to me?" Kerry continued before Graham could answer. "I take that back, but, not here, and it needs to be quick." She left the exam room and didn't look back, allowing the Detective to either follow her or not.

The two entered the Doctor's lounge, it was empty. Kerry turned and faced the Detective. The walk through her ER had centered her and let her marshal her thoughts.

Detective Graham spoke, "You saw a patient by the name of Shannon Wallace that Doctor Legaspi also treated?"

Kerry nodded, "Yes, I called for the Psych Consult."

The Detective frowned, "But you didn't stay with her?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, we had a mass casualty situation and she only had minor injuries."

Kerry's inner mind yelled at her, 'sure you coward, don't tell him that you couldn't stay in the room for one second more than you had to'.

"So, you effectively left Doctor Legaspi alone with the patient."

There it was. Kerry paused and nodded. "I suppose."

"Are you aware that the patient said that Doctor Legaspi sexually assaulted her?" The detective had a thing with his hands, or the two fingers on his right hand at least. Using them to punctuate his points, but at least he wasn't crowding her.

"Yes. And it's ridiculous. The young woman had psychological problems, she tried to kill herself."

Again with the hand, though Kerry thought it a good sign that this time he used a sweeping away motion. "None the less, we have to follow up the accusations."

"As you should, but in this case Detective, the young woman is making this up to deflect the blame onto someone else for all the deaths she's caused."

Detective Graham studied Kerry, "That's almost exactly what Doctor Legaspi said, though with more specific diagnostic terms." He paused, "What exactly is your relationship with Doctor Legaspi."

Kerry shrugged, "Friends." A wince came unbidden to her face, "Though perhaps more like work colleagues. She is one of the best Psychiatrists this hospital has ever seen. She would not ever sexually assault or even harass any patient or co-worker. Period."

Detective Graham clapped his hands soundlessly together, "As I said, we have to follow up these sorts of things. Thank you for your time."

He left and a half a second later Randi stuck her head in. "Two things. One, I glowed when he talked to me. Two, Romano's asking for you."

"Asking?"

Randi snapped her gum and smirked, "Well, he did say something about firing, but I rarely listen to what comes out of his or Brenda's mouth. Still..."

"I'm on my way."

oOOOOo

"Hey."

"How's she doing?" A calm seemed to have come over Kerry. She'd had it out with Romano in his office, basically calling him a homophobe and a misogynistic bigot. It was a cathartic experience, though she was surprised that he didn't inquire as to why she cared so much.

Some in the ER had joked awhile back that Kerry was turned on by confrontation, especially those confrontations she had with Romano.

The truth was that every time she turned on her bitchiness it felt like a cinch on her heart and it twisted her guts into Gordian knots. No, she fought everyone else, she was going to give up fighting herself. Maybe she was gay, maybe she and Kim would wind up married, or the Illinois equivalent whatever that would wind up being, with two point five kids, a dog, a cat, and some oft dying fishes. Maybe she wouldn't, but she was going to stop the worry. Shannon Wallace's reaction to her own sexuality conflict had shown her, there were more important things in the world than her insignificant self-labeling problem.

"She's doing better than I would be." Kim guided Kerry away from the room where the mother of the baby that Abby had misplaced still sat talking to the police and into an empty exam room. Kim was slightly surprised when Kerry didn't even jump as Kim used her hand to guide Kerry into the room. She closed the door, walked over to a bench in the window and sat.

"How was your meeting with Romano?" Kerry sat at the other end of the  
bench.

"Homophobic, misogynistic, the usual." Kim let a sigh go. "Degrading." She stared at the floor and nearly left her body in surprise when she felt Kerry's hand on hers. "Kerry..."

Kerry scooted a bit closer as she spoke, "This isn't about me, it's not about you. It's about a scared kid who's trying to blame someone else for her feelings and the ass upstairs who's taking advantage of the situation to fire you because he'll never get you in bed."

Kim sat there and blink at Kerry. "I... there's going to be a disciplinary hearing."

Kerry stood. "I know." Kim nodded and stared for the door. Kerry stopped her with a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Don's not unreasonable Kim."

"But Romano is." Kim stared at Kerry, "Do you truly believe what I did was wrong?"

"Telling the patient you're gay, yes." Kim started to speak, but Kerry held a hand up. "But doing that and sexually assaulting her are two totally different things Kim."

Kerry pushed by Kim into the hall. Kim watched as the door swung closed.

oOOOOo

Kerry nearly ran into Dave, who was ghosting about in the hallway. She paused in her mad dash to get to the hearing. "You... head butted a patient's father?"

Dave shrugged and braced himself, "Look, I know..."

"Did you head butt the patient Doctor Malucci?"

"What?" Dave crossed his arms over his chest, "Of course not Chief... Doctor Weaver. And I am going home, I just..."

Kerry interrupted the young doctor, "You're on 'til eight."

"Doctor Greene said I'm off the rest of the week."

Kerry glanced over her shoulder where Mark and Elizabeth were celebrating him keeping his medical license. "Here's the thing David. I'm the Chief, as you like to remind me often. You're on until eight, and for the rest of the week as well."

"Th..."

Kerry cut him off again, "Don't thank me, get back to work, though... you may want to wait for Mark to leave."

"And the rest of the week?"

"He can take it up with his boss."

oOOOOo

Kerry entered the conference room. She was the last one to arrive. Don and Romano were at the table and Kim was standing near the door, waiting for them to pass their judgment on her. Kerry chose to stand. "Doctor Weaver, better late than never. Let's cut to the chase shall we. So that we can all get outta here and go home, okay."

Kerry met Kim's eyes, but after a moment broke the gaze and looked down at the floor.

Romano kept going, "Doctor Legaspi, recently, for whatever reason had what I hope was a momentary lapse in judgment."

Kim wasn't having that. "I take offense to that."

"Really. Well, I take offense to you coming out to your patient, which was grossly inappropriate."

Don cut into the conversation, "Doctor Legaspi is a valuable asset to the Psychiatry department as well as this hospital as a whole. I think her instincts were correct and intentions very honorable considering the situation."

"Honorable, perhaps, stupid, definitely."

Kerry couldn't look at Kim as the two men went at it. Kim kept glancing over at the red head. The blonde Psychiatrist had no idea what would come from Kerry's mouth.

"Come on Robert. Patients with Psychological problems falsely accuse their doctors of all sorts of things." Kerry finally glanced over to meet Kim's eyes and just as fast focused forward as Don continued. "I had a guy today blame me for hypnotizing him to drink his blood."

"Well, we'll have to look into that another day Don. The fact is, to the best of my knowledge, you are not actually a vampire. Doctor Legaspi, however, is a lesbian, am I right?"

"I've never hi..."

Kerry interrupted Kim. "That has nothing to do with why we're here and you know that Robert. While you were plotting how to jettison the lesbian. I did some research, made a couple of calls. Never have any of her previous workplaces seen a whiff of wrong doing from her. Sexual or otherwise. As a Med Student, Intern, Resident, or Attending."

Kerry tilted her head to one side. "Did you know that she was the perfect employee for most of her life at her mother's grocery store Robert? Helped the little old ladies, gave the tips she got to the store's bottom line."

Kim stuttered, "Yo-you called my mother?" She somehow managed to close her mouth before it started attracting flies.

"And yet, we're not here because of missing tips."

"No Robert." Kerry closed in on Romano and leaned on the table so she was right in his face, "We're here because you don't know the difference between a lesbian and a child molester."

Kerry stood straight up again and Romano's gaze never left hers. "Okay, my recommendation is administrative leave pending a criminal hearing."

"That will make her look guilty."

"I think that's premature."

Romano swung his head towards Don, ignoring Kerry. "It's pre-emptive. And if we get really lucky there won't be any charges and you can come right back to work having learned a lesson, all be it the hard way."

Kim was shooting daggers from her eyes at Romano, her hands on her hips, ready for a fight. Kerry thought it was interesting. Usually when confronted Kim had her hands over her chest, or her trusty clipboard. This was a new Kim.

Silence came over the conference room.

It was Kerry who finally nodded. Kim's heart sank, at least until Kerry spoke. "You suspend Kim, I quit."

"Excuse me?"

"Kerry," Don had a pleading note that just barely tinged his voice. "That's not--"

"No Donald. Kim is not a good doctor, she's an amazing doctor. She gets suspended, I quit. I can keep her company while she sues the hell out of you... Rocket... and never has to work again." With that Kerry pivoted on her heel and was out the door. Leaving two stunned men and a totally blindsided woman in her wake.

oOOOOo

"Kerry, Kerry, wait." Kerry stopped and turned. "Thank you."

"So they didn't suspend you?" Kim nodded, "Good."

"Kerry."

"I didn't do anything I wouldn't have done for any other co-worker."

"What you said in there could be, you didn't have..."

Kerry cut off Kim, "I did have to. Please, just..."

Kim took a step towards Kerry, who stood her ground. "Thank you. I know that we aren't exactly working at our best here. Together I mean."

Kerry pushed the elevator down button. "You're a damn good doctor. In the end, my issues don't matter. So..." The elevator door opened and Kerry stepped in and turned. "You're welcome."


	8. Chapter 8

** Survival of the Fittest **

"So, Randi, when's this plan of yours going to work?"

Randi hemmed and hawed, "Uh, the thing is that it sorta got... well... derailed by the derailment and all the drama between them."

"Yes, well, I'm not sure if Dave's gonna survive Kerry..."

Randi made a face, "None of us may. Ah, did she get pissed off at the cans?"

"That was you?"

Randi shrugged.

oOOOOo

"David."

"Wha..."

Kerry stood in the doorway of the lounge and shook her head. "You're done for the day, time to go home. Get some real rest."

Dave sat up and pulled a hand through his unruly hair. "Sorry Chief."

"Just go home Doctor Malucci. Get some rest."

"I didn't."

Kerry stopped at her locker and spun the dial. "Didn't what?"

Dave stood, "Didn't do the can thing."

"I know." She replaced her lab coat with her light spring coat.

"You know..." He held up a hand to forestall Kerry's answer, "Of course you know, you know everything."

"Just go home David." She left the doctor's lounge.

Dave left a minute later, nearly running into Kim. "Oh, Doctor Legaspi, do you... have a minute?"

Kim was silent for a second and then nodded, "Of course Dave. The lounge?" Dave and Kim disappeared back into the lounge.


	9. Chapter 9

** April Showers **

Kerry found it slightly amusing that she was sitting in an airport bar, and yet it was still quieter than County.

"Shady." Kerry glanced up and behind her at the man who had spoken. She had forgotten that she'd been doing a crossword puzzle her mind had been wandering so much. "Five down."

She glanced up and back down, "Oh. Thank you." She wrote it in as he sidled up closer.

"On a layover?"

"No." She wrote in another answer, mostly to have something to do. It'd been awhile since she'd been hit on, not as long as most of her employees would guess, but it wasn't the most common of occurrences either. "My flight's delayed." She put down her pen and made eye contact with him.

"You mean cancelled."

Kerry leaned back and squinted at the board, pointing. "No, still says delayed."

"Ah, an optimist."

This brought a smile to Kerry's face.

"Where you tryin' to get to?"

Kerry brought her glass up to take a drink, but didn't drink. "Ah, Las Vegas."

"Oh." It could have been her imagination, but he was getting closer. "So, you're not an optimist, it's a compulsion."

Kerry winced inside and wondered if he'd thought that up himself. Still, she was a scientist, maybe an experiment was in order.

"What do you play?"

She kept on her smile, "Ah, I'm going there on business."

The bartender came back with the man's beer and the man spoke to him. "And whatever the lady's drinking."

Kerry put her hands up, "Oh no, thank you. I'm fine thanks." The bartender paused and then moved on, leaving Kerry and the man to decide who was paying for her drinks.

The man took out his money and started counting it out. "Either he's getting a very big tip, or, you're getting a free drink." He flashed his very best and charming smile for her, took his beer, and left.

The bartender appeared and Kerry put her hands up in a 'what can you do' pose, accepting the drink.

oOOOOo

"Lord it's empty of doctors and nurses down here. They're not going to make me suture or something?"

Randi rolled her eyes. "Doctor Greene is getting married to Doctor Corday today." Randi snapped her gum, "Wouldn't want to be someone with an exploding kidney or liver or whatever today."

"Appendix Randi, exploding appendix, and let's not jinx it. Have you seen Chen?"

Randi shook her head, "You mean for the oh so obvious thyroid problem in Exam three?"

Kim narrowed her eyes as the clerk, "You getting an MD on the sly Randi?"

Randi rolled her eyes, "As if. Just been watchin' y'all all these years. I'd check the suture room first."

Kim saluted Randi with the chart, "Thanks."

oOOOOo

She'd never been a day dreamer, but with the plane still delayed, or maybe it was the rain. Whatever the reason, her computer was open, her word processor as well, but she wasn't paying attention to any of it.

"How was that wine?"

She looked up. It was the guy from the bar. "Oh, it was very nice, thanks."

"I'm getting a refill, want one?"

She put on her smile and shook her head. "Oh, I really shouldn't."

"C'mon, you're not drivin'."

Did he truly think he was funny. "You're tenacious."

"Yes?"

Kerry nodded, "Okay, only if I buy this round."

"Even better. Excuse me, more please." Both handed their glasses to the waitress. "May I?" He gestured to the empty seat.

"Sure."

He introduced himself, "I'm Mike."

They shook hands, "Hi Mike, I'm Kerry."

"Workin' on your novel."

"Ah, no..." She closed the computer. "I was just writing... just organizing some thoughts."

He leaned back, "So, what do you do when you're not writing Kerry?"

"Uh, I'm, uh, I'm a doctor."

"Really."

Kerry nodded, "Emergency Medicine."

"Brains too. That's impressive."

She was starting to regret her little experiment. "Thanks."

oOOOOo

"Oh, Doctor Legaspi."

Kim stopped and took two steps backwards, "Yes Randi? And you can call me Kim if you want."

"Okay, Kim. Your mother called."

Kim winced, "Wait. Why'd she call down here?"

"Didn't, they transferred her hither and yon trying to find you."

Kim's wince intensified, "Did she have a message?"

Randi handed over a pink slip, "No dinner with the fam tonight."

Kim let her breath out. "Ah, good, I don't get guilt, I get to give it."

Randi held her hands up, "Whatever floats your boat Kim."

oOOOOo

"I always wanted to move to Florida, get away from the ice and snow." Kerry took a sip of her wine. It was official, she was probably tipsy.

"Why didn't you?"

Kerry shrugged, "I don't know, it just never worked out."

"I know what you mean. By this time I thought I'd be married with two kids and a dog."

"Well," she smiled, "you can always get the dog."

"How 'bout you. You don't live with like, fifty cats or anything?" Perhaps Kerry was more than tipsy, but Mike seemed to be getting a bit funnier.

Kerry chuckled, "No."

"I didn't think so. Too pretty to be one of those crazy cat ladies."

The smile dropped from Kerry's face as she put down her wine. "I should go." She stood. Mike stood as well and closed the distance between them. "You have a sister, mother, aunt who's a crazy cat lady?"

"No."

"Then."

Kerry reached up and grabbed the back of Mike's head, pulling him down for a crushing kiss. After a moment she let and they both moved a bit apart. "Thank you."

"You're gonna wind me up and leave?"

Kerry tilted her head to one side as her plane was called, "Sorry, you were my... final test. A test to prove that I was an idiot. I got an A+."

oOOOOo

"The jail ward. Hell, I think I'd rather have Romano's punishment instead of DeRaad's. I hate the jail ward."

The white ball flew towards the triangle of balls and they exploded in a rainbow of colors. "You'll live."

"You know, I'm only still friends with you because of your pool table."

Kate smirked, "Good to know, of course, how do you explain all those years when you didn't live in Chicago?"

"Can't." Kim lined up a shot and totally missed, though the ball stayed on the table. "That is my life. I can see what I want, I line it up, and poof, crap happens."

"She stood up for you, right, at the farce of a meeting?" Kim nodded, "You know if you get called in again, take Christy."

"No, I..."

"Take Christy. She's the lawyer in our little group of your exes..." Kim stuck out her tongue at Kate, who just smiled, "Promise you'll call her Kimmy..."

Kim missed another shot and hurfed, "Fine, fine, I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

** Fear of Commitment **

"What's this?"

The psych nurse, Lois, smirked and leaned against the wall. "Guess you have a secret admirer."

Kim took a breath in, "That's good."

"George's Kung Pao Chicken."

Kim frowned. "I've never told anyone I liked..."

Lois shrugged, "Who doesn't like Kung Pao chicken? But..." She smiled again, "I can test them."

Kim held the bag to her body. "I don't think so."

Lois paused before leaving. "I may just be a psych nurse, but you're not yourself."

"Who are we really?"

"No jokes, not even a smile. I mean, I tell you the one where Kerry Weaver of all people walks in on a guy in a possum suit using her original Mr. Whiskers puppet to uh... relieve himself and not even a grin."

Kim shrugged, "It's been a hard... while."

"I'm gonna prescribe a little happiness. Go out, get horribly drunk, pick up some amazingly beautiful woman and forget about whatever has you down."

"Prescription?"

The nurse smiled, "Hey, I'm almost a NP."

Kim shook her head, "Thank you... and maybe I will."

Lois wiggled her eyebrows, "Lesbians of Chicago, look out."


	11. Chapter 11

** Where the Heart Is **

Kerry came up the street to Kim's home. 305 TeMPLE Street. She paused at the bottom of the walk and prepared. She didn't have a plan at all. She was slightly terrified.

She climbed the steps and started to knock on the door, but it opened. And there it was, she to be more specific. Hell in a blue warm up suit. She was pretty, tall, long dark hair, legs that went on and on. "Hi."

"Hi." Kerry's mind was already in retreat mode. At work when a fight or flight situation came up she fought to the death, in her personal life, she ran as fast as she could.

"Can I help you?" She sounded oddly like Kim when she spoke.

"Uh, I was just... looking for... uh..." Kerry trailed off.

"Kim? She's in the shower. I can give her a message if you want?"

Kerry stood there, her mind running a mile a minute. "No, thanks, I'll see her later."

The woman in blue turned a little. "You're welcome to come in and wait."

Kerry was already turning away. Fleeing. "That won't be necessary, thank you."

"If you can give me your name I can tell her you stopped by."

oOOOOo

"Kerry."

"Janet. What can I do for you?"

"I know that you and Doctor Romano have had a rocky relationship, but..." She glanced around. "Would you stick with him if... he were to be ousted by the administration?"

Kerry was silent. "No, no I wouldn't." She paused, "Do you need help?"

Janet shook her head, "No, but... if I do, you're the first I'll call."

oOOOOo

"You managed to avoid her all day." Kerry was outside the ER, her eyes closed, getting her strength up for the ride on the El home.

Kerry opened her eyes and met Randi's look, "What?"

Randi shrugged into her jacket, "Kim. You missed the fun abuse case she had, the Lockhart drama." Randi smirked, "The Cleo, Carla drama. Missed her totally. Did it take much work?"

Kerry took a breath in and let it out slowly, "I'm.. I'm tired Randi. I had... it's been a hard day." Kerry took a step out from under the overhang and nearly did a header.

Randi managed to catch her before Kerry got to the ground. Malik came closer from where he and another nurse were deep in conversation, but Randi waved him off. "Let's sit." Randi guided Kerry over to the bench and helped her sit down. "Is it your hip?"

Kerry nodded and frowned as Randi knelt down in front of her and took a hold of her hip. "Randi?"

Randi massaged at Kerry's hip. "Is it helping?" Kerry closed her eyes and nodded. "Sorry 'bout Bonnie. I..." She finished and stood. "That better?"

Kerry opened her eyes and looked up at Randi, "It is."

Randi smiled self deprecatingly. "One of my many occupations. The only one I've had for more than a year is this crazy place. Six years." Randi shook her head, "Do you need... anything else?"

Kerry stood and tested her leg. It seemed to hold. "No, and thank you Randi."

"No problem at all Doctor Weaver."


	12. Chapter 12

** Rampage **

"It's all the same guy?" Kerry got a nod in response. "Doctor Greene went home?" Another nod. "Okay, prep the trauma, exam rooms. You know the drill."

oOOOOo

"Doctor Weaver."

"What..." Kerry shook her head. They'd been slammed all day. She thought that she'd seen Kim, but, then again, she still wasn't quite ready to see the blonde. "I'm sorry Randi. What is it?"

"Romano fired Kim."

"Please tell me you're kidding." Randi shook her head, but before Randi or Kerry could say anything more Haleh rushed up to them. "The bastard shot Adele."

oOOOOo

"Can we talk Kerry?"

Kerry shook her head, "About what? Lori?"

"Lori?"

Kerry managed to make her escape, diving back into a trauma.

oOOOOo

"He's stable? Uh, Derek Fossen?" Kerry nodded, saving the question about if Kim really had been fired, "After I see him, can we talk?" 

Kerry met Kim's eyes. Finally she nodded, "Yes, we should, after. Right now, Abby's in there..."

"You're coming?"

Kerry nodded, "Usually I wouldn't, but yes. C'mon. I'll introduce you to the monster who paralyzed Adele." Kerry practically knocked the glass out of the trauma doors as she slammed her way into the room.

oOOOOo

"He's in there..."

"What?" Romano looked between Randi and Haleh.

Randi stared towards the trauma room. "The shooter... he's in there with Kim, Kerry and Abby."

oOOOOo

"You're too good." Kerry didn't respond and Derek Fossen turned his attention to Kim. "And you... you helped that bastard take away my boy. WHERE'S MY BOY!" He pointed the gun at the blonde. "You have kids..." Kim didn't move, "Nah, you look too uppity to have kids. Like your room perfectly straight and narrow. But still, maybe you'll be useful."

He rolled off the gurney, pulling out his IVs. Kerry tried to get between him and Kim, but she was thrown back as a giant bang echoed through the room. Abby practically dove for the red head.

Kim gave an involuntary yell and tried to go for Kerry as well, but was yanked up by Derek. He put his gun to the back of her neck and as a pair they stumbled from the room into the main part of the ER.

He shouted at everyone gathered at the admit desk. "Did you call the police."

There were nods, but it was Randi who stepped forward, "They'll kill you, you asshole."

Derek just laughed and stumbled out the door. Randi's eyes went back to the trauma room as Abby's voice pierced the air. "I need help in here. Now, now, NOW."

Randi growled, "You're the doctors, he shot her damnit, get in there already." They started moving and Randi mumbled, "Lousy buncha..."

Everyone was spurred into action. They crowded into the room. Benton took charge, telling Mark, Dave and others to get the hell out of the room. Finding where she'd been shot, everyone trying to push down the feelings they were feeling and just work on her.

Abby tripped over something, slamming hands first into the wall. She immediately stripped off her gloves and threw them out as Benton snapped, "If you can't work, leave."

Abby closed her eyes, took a breath, "No... no... I'm fine."

"Good. Then give me her vitals."

It was bloody. It was bad.

On the other hand, outside the hospital Derek didn't know what hit him. He went down, a uniform swept in and pulled Kim to the side as they checked to make sure that he was dead. Kim could have told him that he was. She had felt the heat of the bullet, or at least she had imagined that she'd felt the heat of the bullet.

Kim fought against the uniform, not even seeing his face. "She's in there, she's dying... you have to let me go." She thrashed, pulled, pushed, but she couldn't slip free. "Please... please... let me go." 

"Not on your life sister."

Kim looked up into the same blue eyes that were in her face. "Cur... Curtis?" She buried her face in his chest. Mumbling, "He shot her, he... he shot Kerry."


	13. Chapter 13

Silence had descended on the ER. All the patients were gone, upstairs or to other hospitals and clinics in the area, and no new ones were coming in. The County General ER was for all intents and purposes, closed.

Kim had never been in an ER that was so quiet and empty. Every once in a while a nurse might appear, or a PA, or a Doctor, but even most of the staff had been shuttled to other parts of the hospital, or told to go home.

Derek was dead.

Kim probably had message after message at all her numbers. Her parents. She'd moved back to Chicago for them, to be closer to them, to her brothers and sisters, though Curtis probably told them she was okay. She could have gone to Boston, the city of crazy, or LA, San Francisco. Could have spent her days diagnosing depressed Red Sox fans, neurotic actor/waiters or trying to discern what the greater meaning of gender was.

But she hadn't, she'd come home. To a life she thought she'd left behind. Kate would worry, Christy too, maybe even Sandy would worry, though, she probably had ways to find out Kim's status. She idly wondered if her father, a retired Chicago Firefighter knew Sandy, a current one, or if Sandy knew of him.

She'd already given statements to what felt like half the Chicago police force. She didn't have to stay in the ER. She could go upstairs, talk to DeRaad, go home.

But in the Trauma room, there was the sticking point. She'd returned to Chicago, looked up former girlfriends, had a grand ole time. Then, she'd had this amazing and horrible Thanksgiving dinner with Kerry Weaver. Had wine spilled all over her. She still had that outfit, the shirt at least. Totally unhealthy though that action was. At least she didn't wear it. The stains were probably permanent, six months later. Kerry would know how to get them out.

She closed her eyes and stopped. She stared through the absurd clear patient board. There was Kerry's name, or shorthand at least. No one had touched it, no one had touched anything in the ER.

She continued walking until she got to the Trauma Room doors. She stopped. Inside stood two men who couldn't have been more different. Robert Romano and Peter Benton. Arguing.

She quietly pushed through the door, catching Abby and Haleh's eyes. Abby hadn't left Kerry's side yet, and Haleh had only stepped out when they started clearing the ER.

Kim still wasn't quite sure why they'd done that. Some sort of police thing she guessed. She was sick of the police, first the Shannon crap, and then... It wasn't their fault, but still. She could live without seeing them for a bit.

"You cannot move her."

"I'm the Chief of this whole damn hospital, such as it is. I can do anything I please."

"She is not stable enough, and you know that."

"We need to monitor her."

"Down here. You really want to kill her that much."

Romano shook his head and placed his hand on the side of the gurney. "That was uncalled for Peter... Now."

Peter put his hand on top of Romano's. "I won't let you jeopardize her life."

Romano looked askance at Peter. "Are you going... ghetto on me Peter, I never knew you had it in you."

"Leave her here..."

Both met looked over at Kim. "So speaketh the trashy blonde dyke. Didn't I fire you earlier today?"

Kim walked over to Kerry's bedside, across from where Peter and Romano were standing. She picked up one of Kerry's hands. "How many lives has   
she saved in this room. How many more could she? And if Doctor Benton won't..." Kim raised an eyebrow, "Throw down... then I will, and, for the record, my brothers taught me to fight. I have no doubt I fight a hell of a lot better than you can."

She stared down Romano, who stared back for a half a minute before he stormed out of the room. Peter hot on his heels.

Haleh left also, leaving just Abby, Kim, and Kerry in the room. Abby spoke softly. "You really have brothers?"

"Had three, now two. And I did learn how to take a punch from one of 'em. Then got laughed at when I tried to give it back."

Abby shook her head, "Do you want her vitals, or..."

Kim shook her head, "I... no..."

"I can't leave Kim." Kim nodded, "I'm not a doctor, but, I can be a horrible listener. Ear wax problem you know."

Kim's head slowly turned and she stared at Abby. "Ear wax?"

The brunette nurse shrugged with a half a smile, "I'll be over in the corner... not listening to anything you want to say to her."

Kim just sat there for another moment before she could bring herself to speak. "There's this... horribly stupid, horribly clichéd story that so many writers have butchered. It's from Plato's Symposium. That before humans there were creatures that roamed the earth. Each had four arms, four legs, two heads and one soul. Some where male and male, some female female and others male and female. They were perfect and... they were perfect. When I first read it, I was, I'd just come out, and there, finally, in print, was... well, female female action. It wasn't the point of course, but hey, I was a horny teenager."

Kim smiled sadly, "Anyway the gods didn't like that these creatures were perfect, that they didn't need gods because they were happy, so happy, Zeus I think was the main pissed off god, and so they rained. I don't know, lightning always seems to be the natural force of nature of choice... lightning rained down and the beings were split in two. More worshipers for the gods, each had two legs, one head, two arms. I think something happened with their eyes, but their soul. Their one soul was split in two. And from that time forward each half of the soul searches for the rest of it, to make itself whole again." Kim closed her eyes, her head dropping forward. "I tried to be friendly, I tried to respect your sexuality." She slowly raised her head and opened her eyes, "I will respect who you are meant to be with. I will be your friend. But Kerry, I think I love you in a much more... Lilith and Eve way Ker."

Kim stood and let Kerry's hand go, gently laying it back down on the bed. She met Abby's gaze. "Thank you."

"She'll be okay Kim, Doctor Legaspi. She's too ornery not to pull through."

This brought a small smile to Kim's lips, "Ornery huh?" Abby shrugged, "I'll be upstairs. You'll call me if anything at all happens?"

"Definitely."

oOOOOo

Kim flipped through Kerry's date book. She looked up when Peter poked his head in the door. "Oh, hi, I was just..."

Peter put a hand up, "She doesn't really have a next of kin, but her ex-husband's name starts with an H."

"Thank you."

Peter paused at the door, "Romano is Romano. They let him stay because he's an amazing surgeon. He can't fire you." Peter shook his head, "As the one and only director of diversity, trust me on that point. If you need anything. Just tell me."

Peter had the door open when Kim spoke again, "Doctor Benton? You knew her, before..." Kim glanced around Kerry's almost never used office, "Before this place?" Peter nodded. "She was different? Funnier, less stressed out, less..."

"Alpha bitch." He nodded again, "She was," He glanced out into the still deserted hallway, "You know, those couple of weeks between when you started and.. when, whatever happened, happened between you two, she was starting to be like the Kerry I'd met before." He shrugged, "For what it's worth."

Kim nodded as Peter exited the room. She went back to the date book. After a few moments she finally found the entry she was looking for. She stared, "New Jersey?" She shrugged and dialed. "Hello Doctor..." She was cut off.

oOOOOo

Abby sagged against one of the ER's empty walls. She needed to call Kim, Kerry had flat lined, but they had gotten her back.

"What happened."

Abby stood and put her hands out, "She's fine, she's okay. Doctor Benton's in there with her now. And, no, she hasn't regained consciousness yet."

"Yet.." Kim sighed. "Called her, uh, ex-husband, and I think her best friend in Europe, Britain somewhere over on the other side of the Atlantic, 'cause there was a weird as hell phone number..."

Peter left the trauma room and paused in front of Kim and Abby. "The neuro test came back fine Doctor Legaspi." Kim closed her eyes, "And we're going to move her soon."

Kim looked over at Peter. "She's stable enough?"

Peter nodded, "Yes." He put a hand on Kim's shoulder. "She survived Africa and the semi-annual shootings in this place. She'll outlive us all."

Peter left the two women alone. Abby looked in the room's window. "Do you want to be alone with her?"

Kim shook her head, "Ah, no... I'll, I need to go home, get some things."

Abby nodded, "I'll stay with her until you get back."

"Thank you."

Abby smirked, "You got a healthy Maggie to leave Chicago. We'll call this even."

"Thank you."

Abby waved at the doors. "Go, go..." She watched Kim jog towards the elevator and shook her head. "Kerry Weaver is gay, that came out of left field."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something crazy. I wrote the first line of this chapter (as with all the other chapters) way back in 2008, and yet, the first line still applies to pretty much every single TV show I'm watching ('cept Castle). Go figure. The more the date changes, the more things stay the same....

"Such a shame, so many good story lines they could do and yet they stick with drivel." Kim shut off the TV and leaned back in her chair. She sat next to Kerry's bed.

It seemed as if most of the hospital had visited the red head. People Kim barely knew came in and out of the room and truly seemed to know Kerry. "You don't know how many people you've touched."

A voice came from the doorway. "Some more than others."

"Randi..."

Randi stepped in and closed the door, "Is she? Has she woken up yet?" Kim shook her head. "She's gonna kick your ass when she wakes up."

"Oh?"

Randi rested her hands on the bottom of the bed. "This whole hospital knows, or thinks it knows that Kerry is gay."

"Oh, that, yeah..." Kim met Randi's eyes, "She's gonna kill me, but... that would mean that she's alive, and, I will gladly take that trade off."

"Do you love her?"

Kim took her hand off of Kerry's bed and folded them in her lap. "I don't know, I think so. We haven't really, there's been false starts."

Randi took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest. "First loves rarely work out, heterosexual or homosexual."

"She's not my first... Hell..." Kim looked over at Kerry, "She's not even my first firmly straight love. Of course, they all went back."

"Is she gay?"

Kim shrugged, "Sexuality is such a... insanely complicated thing. Nurture, Nature, love, like. Do we love who we love because we love them, or because they love us. Or is entirely chemical, or is it... otherworldly. It's... no one understands it, because the second you try to it changes."

Randi moved to the other side of Kerry and put her hand over Kerry's. "I love her.." Randi paused and glanced up at Kim, "I mean, not like... Not in a romantic way. Not my type, I like guys, or well, women more like you." Randi cleared her throat, the tips of her ears turning just a bit red. "All she's ever wanted from me, from everyone down in that cesspool, is for us to live up to our greatness, to be the best we can."

"It's a good way to live."

Randi shook her head and let go. "Except for herself." Kim started to speak, but Randi plowed ahead. "I mean, not at work, but in her life. Hell, have you met her ex-husband?" Kim shook her head, "You think that Kerry gets called opportunistic, her ex'll do anything to get ahead. The less he has to do, the better." Randi shuddered, "Sorry. You don't care about any of this."

"Actually, I've probably learned more about her since she got shot."

"Oh." Randi pushed her hands into her pockets. "I need to go. Are you... going to stay?"

"Yes."

Randi nodded, "Good. You'll..."

It was Kim's turn to nod, "I'll call you if anything happens."

"Thank you."

oOOOOo

The ER staff filtered back into the ER, all glancing around. Mark gave orders to the staff, some listened, most didn't.

They opened back up and slowly patients flooded in. Normality returned.

Chen spoke to Randi, "Have you seen her?"

Randi glanced up from her paperwork, "Most of the ER has Doctor Chen..."

Chen frowned, "Ah, I was waiting 'til after my shift." Randi nodded and went back to her work. Chen nearly walked into Carter. "Sorry." Carter nodded absently, "What is it with everyone. She's not dead yet."

Carter shook his head, "Bust she's not awake either. It's like Lucy all over again."

Carter walked away and Chen shook her head.

oOOOOo

"Are you okay?"

Kim jolted awake, her chair tipped and she wound up face down, sprawled on the floor, uttering an, "Ow." She scrambled to her feet. "Kerry, you're awake."

Kerry blinked and winced, "I guess so. Are you okay?"

Kim laughed nervously, "I should be asking you that."

"My chart tells me how I am... as well as the machines. You, on the other hand, look like hell."

Kim stared at Kerry, "I'm fine. Nary a scratch. I'm sorry Kerry."

Kerry shook her head, "I'm the one who's sorry."

Kim opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Romano. "Took you long enough. Were you planning on dying here?"

"Only to spite you Robert. Have you rehired Kim yet?" Romano was silent. So Kerry launched ahead. "We're all overworked, we were all tired down there, that's the most that... but you can't insinuate that you're going to fire someone every time you get frustrated." Kerry pushed herself up in her bed with a wince, though she bit off the groan before it escaped. No weakness.

"I wasn't insinuating, she's fired."

Kim opened her mouth, but Kerry beat her to it. "You can't do that."

One of Kerry's machine's beeped and Romano spoke, "And yet I did."

Kerry shook her head, "This is a County facility, employees can't be summarily fired."

"Well, Doctor Legaspi was already on probation for that other matter."

"Yeah, she was exonerated."

Romano crossed his arms over his chest, "Since then she's had a history of violation of institutional policies."

Kerry tilted her head to one side. "Like what?"

For the briefest of seconds a smile flashed on Romano's face, but it was gone just as fast. "What do you care, it's not your department."

"I deal with that department and she's a good doctor."

"A doctor who's had as many as thirty delinquent charts awaiting discharge summaries."

"And so does half the staff."

They were going back and forth so fast Kim could hardly keep up. She'd never been fought over in quite the way that Romano and Kerry were doing it.

"She used the County telephone watch line for personal long distance calls."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"She yelled at a patient in a public setting." Kim raised her eyebrows at that one, since she didn't remember doing it.

Kerry sat there and stared at Romano for a few seconds, "You're trying to find a way to fire her."

Romano shook his head, "There's plenty of documentation that has been reviewed by the disciplinary committee." He paused, "Why do you care so much Kerry, she's just another dyke."

Kerry hurfed out a breath, "Because she's my dyke damnit. Because, just-- just because."

Romano's gaze went from Kerry to Kim and back to Kerry and Kim swooped in, "We're friends Doctor Romano, and we... we work well together."

"You were willing to give up your little fiefdom down in the ER last time this one got into trouble. You gonna do that again?"

"If I have to... I could also go to the media, ACLU, County Board of Supervisors... Wipe out every inch of good press you've ever gotten."

Romano's face went deadly still. "Are you giving me an ultimatum, because I do not respond well to ULTIMATUM'S." He paused, "You had better choose your battles very carefully. You're the Chief of Emergency Medicine, not the County's lesbian advocate."

Kerry's eyes seemed to spark with fire she was so wound up. They were shouting so loudly that their conversation could be heard from one end of the hall to the other, and nothing much was going on as the staff listened in. "That's where you're wrong Robert, I am both, I am the Chief of Emergency Medicine and I am a LESBIAN."

They stared at each other, neither blinking, neither moving. The only sounds in the room from the machines.

After a couple of minutes, Kerry spoke again, in control of her emotions and in her regular speaking voice. "Will you re-hire Doctor Kimberly Legaspi?"

Romano's eyes flicked to Kim and back to Kerry. "Sure, why not."

"No crap. No vendettas against her. She's not your employee, she's Carl's."

"I think I liked you better unconscious." Kerry stared at Romano, unblinking. "Yes, yes." He shot Kim a glare. "If she wants it of course."

Kim was silent.

Kerry answered for the blonde, "She'll think about it."

Romano shook his head and threw his hand in the air and left. "Women."

"We should tal..."

Kim grasped Kerry's hand, "Not yet. Get better first and we'll finish our conversation later," she squeezed the smaller hand, "now that there will be a later. I'm not going anywhere."

Kerry closed her eyes, "I think I'll sleep some more."

Kim waited until Kerry's breathing had evened out and then carefully extracted her hand and exited the room. She closed the door behind her and moved over to the nurses station. "Ann right?"

The nurse looked up, "Doctor Legaspi, yes, how is Kerry, Doctor Weaver?"

"She's..." Kim shook her head, "I'm pretty sure she only has eight lives left. May I use the phone?"

Ann nodded. "Of course." She handed Kim the handset and asked. "Psych extension?"

"ER actually." She waited for an answer and Ann moved away to give Kim some privacy. "Hey, you can tell the troops she's awake. She decided not to let us wonder for days on end." Kim listened, "No, not yet. She's still weak." Kim smiled, "You could tell her I said that, but remember, she may be the 'mean' one, but I am a trained Psychiatrist." After another moment she hung up and Ann came back. "Thank you."

Ann glanced around and spoke softly, "I think it's dreadful what Doctor Romano gets away with. Doctor Weaver should be running this hospital."

Kim smiled, "For now, she's concentrating on getting better." Ann nodded and went back to work, while Kim went back to Kerry's room.


	15. Chapter 15

"Oh crap..."

"Ugh..."

Kim winced, "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No." Kerry rubbed at her eyes. "What made you wake me up?"

"Uh..." Kim stood and paced away from the bed. "It's sort of embarrassing."

"Lori."

Kim turned halfway back, "What? She's my sister."

"Oh... what then."

Kim shook her head, "You should rest."

Kerry opened her mouth and then closed it and nodded. Kim smiled, "I should get going. Check in. I... uh... I'm going to stay, here, in Psych."

"Good."

Kim met Kerry's eyes, "Really?"

"Yes."

Randi nodded, "Uh, hi..." Randi was followed by Abby, Carter and Dave. "I brought an audience. Since, Kim didn't say that we were banned today, just yesterday."

Kim pointed at the door. "I need to go." She slipped out the door without another word. Carter, Dave, and Abby did most of the talking, while Randi leaned against the wall and watched the co-workers interact. Waiting.

oOOOOo

"Hi, Sandy... yeah, it's Kim. Could we get together for..." She glanced out the window when she realized she wasn't sure what time of day it was. From the sky it was morning. "...breakfast?" She listened for a minute, "Truthfully, you probably won't like it. That's why I figured I'd buy you an amazingly expensive, or at least sorta not cheap breakfast." Kim paused and listened again. "Twenty minutes. Doc Magoos. I can do that."

oOOOOo

It was finally just Randi and Kerry. "Are you, really okay?"

"No screaming alarms..." Kerry's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you okay Miranda?" Randi swallowed, "I know I can sometimes severely Weaver people, but I don't have the strength at the moment, if that's what you're worried about."

"No."

Kerry waited for more, but there wasn't any. "I'll be here all day."

There was more silence, followed by an explosion from Randi's mouth, "I love you." She paused for two beats before she plunged on, "Not that way, not that there is a that way, for you I mean, I heard a rumor that you sorta screamed you were a lesbian, but uh, it was at Romano, so maybe you were. And I've, but that was, and holy shit, I'm going to shut up now." Randi crossed her arms over her chest, "Anyway..."

Kerry pushed herself up in the bed a little with a grimace, "There are lots of ways to love."

"You've always been there for me, I..." She shook her head.

Kerry chuckled, causing a look of consternation to appear on Randi's face, "You think this is fu..."

"No, no... Randi, look at us, possibly two of the three worst people in the hospital at expressing our feelings, trying to do it to each other. I love you too. I've never had much of a family... and if you think about it, you're very much like a daughter to me."

Randi raised her eyebrows, "I barely ever listen to you, don't get nearly enough allowance, and have too many tattoos?"

"Exactly." Both women smiled.

"And we never talk about this again?"

Kerry smiled, "Works for me. Are we running again?"

"We are. Mark's trying to run the place, but Carter and Abby are helpin'."

"Luka?"

"Haven't seen him since everything."

"And don't you have a shift?"

Randi glanced out the door's window. "I didn't want to leave you alone."

"Miranda Fronczak. I'm sitting in the hospital room with hovering nurses, not to mention I'm connected to all these machines. As long as there are no fundamentalists who have a vendetta against new homosexuals, I'll be fine Randi."

Randi stared at Kerry for one more second before she nodded. "Okay, but you die, I'll kill your ghost. Another one of my jobs, medium."

Kerry smiled as Randi left. After a moment she picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory. "Hi. No, I'm still alive. I have a favor to ask."

oOOOOo

"I'm mostly here for the breakfast."

Kim took a bite of egg. "I did sort of tell you the punch line already."

Sandy studied the blonde in front of her. "You like to be friends with your exes, don't you." Kim nodded. "Am I really an Ex?"

"You... it's complicated."

Sandy chuckled, "It usually is. But, no worries. It was fun, luckily for you, I'm not ready for more than fun. Thought you were the same." Sandy narrowed her eyes, "But I think I was wrong. You found her, your one, your only."

Kim smiled, "Something like that."

"Then I bid you good luck."

Kim looked a bit puzzled. "Am I going to have people from Candid Camera jumping out at me?"

Sandy shrugged, "I go into burning buildings after people I don't know. I don't let relationships stress me out."

"Good for you..."

Sandy wiggled her eyebrows, "There's always the cute blonde who took you home."

Kim groaned, "Two friends, never a good thing."

"We really friends?"

Kim sighed, "Will saying yes mean you don't ask Kate out?"

"Nope." 

Kim sighed.

oOOOOo

Kerry's eyes scanned one page, then another. She perused and then flipped a page. She went through the whole file and gently closed the folder. She looked up. "Kim..."

Kim pushed off the wall by the door. "Don't you want to know how long I've been there?"

"About twenty minutes." Kerry put the folder down on the table beside her bed. "When can I get out of here?"

Kim shrugged, "Don't know."

"So..."

"Yeah."

"Lori's your sister?"

Kim nodded, "Yeah, you know about TJ, my older brother Thomas Junior, who died. Uh, then me, Lori, Paul, and Curtis." She paused, "Do you have any brothers or sisters. I mean, I know you're adopted."

Kerry shook her head, "No. I was their last hope." Kerry sniffed. "They were... I, uh, don't know about birth siblings."

"Ah."

"Thank you."

Kim waved a hand. "For what, sitting on my butt, watching you..." Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "That sounded much less like a stalker in my head."

Kerry smiled, "I was sitting... well... reclining here, looking through Randi's files and I realized. I have no one. Sure, I have Mlungisi, I have Emily, but they're both on the other side of the Atlantic."

"Those are, Emily is one of the two women you were eating with at dinner?"

"Yes."

"You have me." Kim's arms dropped to her sides. "Sorry."

Kerry shook her head. "You know I won't bite your head off, and unless they're not telling me something I'm not contagious." Kim took a few steps closer to Kerry. "I... back in Doc Magoos. Weeks ago, I should have just asked you to stay. Maybe I wouldn't be lying in this bed and you wouldn't be looking like a cross between a child whose puppy died and a horny teenager."

"Really, you're sticking with those two?"

Kerry smirked, "I know everything you said, and I know that you make parts of me that, more often than not in my life, been dormant, fire up like... like..."

"A-- horny teenager perhaps?"

Kerry ignored the blonde, "And truly, I wasn't lying when I said I'd never considered it. I mean, I did sorta scream it earlier today, but, how will everyone in the... okay, why do you look guilty?"

"Yeah. People are already, uh, kinda assuming you're gay. Before the scream I mean. I wasn't, I sorta flipped out..."

"That the technical term?" Kim shrugged, "Okay."

"Yeah." Kim went over to the window and peered out it. "It sort of happened. I mean, all it would take to reverse the rumor was you denying it in your... unique way."

"What if I don't want that?"

Kim turned, she was framed by blue. "Kerry, you've just."

"Hear me out, please."

"I... I..." Kim shook her head and turned back towards the window. "I've done this before Kerry. It was so... she was getting married, I lost my heart to her, and well, she got married. What was the first thing you did, had sex with Dave." Kerry blinked in surprise and narrowed her eyes. Kim winced at her reflection, "If it makes it any better, he only told me. Look, you're not gay Ker, and as much..." Kim put a hand to her heart, "As much as that pains me, it's not something you can change."

Kerry bit her lip to stifle the groan and rolled out of bed. She joined Kim at the window and put a hand on the small of the taller woman's back. Kim jumped and looked over her shoulder as Kerry started speaking. "I was six when I found out I was adopted. My parents, Henry and Catherine, they never kept it from me, but it was mostly obvious. Believe me, I went through every single picture in that... in our house, before I confronted them with it. They had color pictures of everyone so far... well, as far back as color pictures go. I even looked in the black and white ones, for a nose, or the shape of my eye, or maybe... I even found." Kerry sighed, "I even found a picture of my great, great grandmother. She was the spitting image of my mother. But nowhere. In all the pictures, I couldn't see myself in any of my mother or father's family. So at dinner, I confronted them."

Kerry shook her head, "I think I may have been more level headed than them. They..."

Kerry trailed off and Kim continued Kerry's thought, "...wanted to tell you in their time?"

Kerry nodded, but didn't turn. "As a family we didn't talk about sex, we didn't talk about a lot of things, but sex was the big one. I didn't know about homosexuality, really, hell, why do you think my marriage exploded. I was a virgin when I got married, and it..." She shook her head. "I don't even know where I'm going with this."

Kim put a hand on Kerry's shoulder and gently turned the shorter woman. "It's okay Kerry."

They faced each other and Kerry reached up and moved a strand of blonde hair out of Kim's eye. "I suck at this. I'm anti-social a hell of a lot of the time, when my hip hurts, ya better call in the national guard, and, every relationship I've ever had has blown up in my face quite spectacularly. You heard the Ellis stories yet?" Kim shook her head from side to side, "Good. Anyway, there are two things I know. You make my heart, and uh... other parts, which is the surprising part of the equation, go pitter patter. And, if I don't, if we don't make a go at this relationship, I know that I will regret it for the rest of my life."

Kerry let her hand drop and just stood there, waiting. Kim finally lowered her head and captured Kerry's lips with her own.

After a moment there was an, "Oh, sorry, I'll... uh..."

Kim braced herself for Kerry to pull away, it was what every other bi-curious woman had done when confronted with someone else, someone other than Kim knowing about the relationship. It was what the woman with the fiancée had done, she was used to it.

And she was pleasantly surprised when instead Kerry reached up and draped her arms around Kim's neck.

The nurse decided that she should probably come back later.


	16. Epilogue

Kerry jumped as she took one of Kim's shirts out of the moving box. After much conversation on the subject, they'd decided that for many reasons, they'd take it slow. That plan had evaporated mere weeks later. Kim did manage to get a moving truck that didn't have U-Haul on the side, but still Kate, Christy, and Sandy, who were somewhere else in Kerry's house, managed to give Kim a whole lot of grief about the move. "Oh my God Kim, this shirt, it reeks. What is..."

Kim got between Kerry and the shirt. "You did not see that, I will take care of it. It's just wine."

Kerry chuckled as she reached for the shirt, "Did I ever have a chance, hmmm..." She gave up on the shirt and put her hands around Kim's waist and pulled their bodies together. "Against the great Gasp-ator?"

"No, I never had a chance, you just didn't know that you were going all Phantom on me. You got in my head Kerry Weaver."

Kerry shook her head, "No more musicals, maybe some Verdi, Delibes, Lakme perhaps, or some good solid Mozart."

"I know him. We can see Cherubino in uh..."

Kerry chuckled and kissed the end of Kim's nose. "The Marriage of Figaro. There is oh so much more to Opera..."

"Okay, so, I get a new... appreciation of opera, and you?" Kim paused for half a second before she laughed, "I have it. Beer, enough with the wine. I'll introduce you to the best of the Legaspi Beer. Made by Thomas Senior, known to me as Dad, himself."

"Legaspi Beer huh?"


End file.
